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Writer's pictureAngie Hilker

THE UNCONVENTIONAL MOTHER - Alone but Not Forgotten

Katy Watson



A Woman in the Desert (Genesis 16)


She started out behind. Second class. A woman, a foreigner from Egypt. A slave, purchased with coins like a piece of livestock. The story jumps into the middle of her life with no mention of her family. She found herself as a not-so-human footnote in someone else’s story.


Hagar didn’t choose motherhood. It chose her. Or rather, was forced upon her.


Hagar’s story was centered around a man and a woman - the patriarch and matriach of our faith - Abram and Sarai. In the chapter just before Hagar’s story we read about a dramatic encounter - God himself appeared to Abram in a vision. He told Abram that “His reward would be very great”. This was where God started cueing mankind into step 1 of His grand plan for redemption. That grand plan would be centered around one family. God promised Abram that although, yes he was getting old and no, he and Sarai had no children, that He would be the father of this family. God made a binding, permanent promise to Abram. Abram believed Him and was called a righteous man.


Fast forward a bit. Like several years. There was still no baby. Old age was becoming very real. Shame was running deep. Sarai resented her body and her God for withholding from her. She decided that she was done waiting and it was time to take matters into her own hands. It was time for Plan B - using Hagar’s womb to ensure that The Promise would be fulfilled. Abram shrugged his shoulders with indifference and went along with it. As a slave, Hagar’s feelings about the matter were of no consequence. Her role was to obey and give her body willingly.


And bullseye. As you can imagine, a scandalous pregnancy, high-stakes baby, and too many cooks in the kitchen led to some pretty intense conflict in Abram’s home. Not just cat fights, but literal danger.


So Hagar ran away into the desert. Where was she going? Some speculate that she was trying to go back to her roots in Egypt where some semblance of family could be found but it was unlikely. Or maybe this was her Hail Mary to give her child a shot at a different life. What was more likely was that she was fleeing to a desolate place where she and her unborn baby would die. Anything was better than being abused and hated. Her heart matched the surrounding climate - she was dried up, used up, devoid of nourishment and love.



AND THEN….


A large, bright figure approached her. Was this a mirage? Was her desperate mind deceiving her? The voice boomed,


“Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” (vs 8)

It had been ages since she heard her name spoken. She hardly recognized it. Chills stood up on her arms. For years she had heard her masters pray to their God. She never fully understood why they held so tightly to their loyalty to Him, but she also felt herself unexpectedly drawn to Him. There was a reverence, fear even, that prohibited her from even being able to whisper his name. Was this… presence… Him?? She shuddered but could not look away. Though this being loomed over her, she felt something she’d never felt before. Safety. Awe.


“Go back…” (vs. 9)

Go back? To the place where she was in danger? Unprotected? What would happen to this baby growing in her belly?

“I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count” (vs 10)

She looked around. Was he talking to her? Descendants? How could this be? No one had ever cared about her future.


Then, her eyes were opened. This was the YAHWEH of her master, Abram. He was indeed real. And He was here for her. His words like fresh rain fell on her dried heart, bringing a fresh aroma of life. Tears fell on her sunburned cheeks. Her story mattered. And it wasn’t over.


Hagar was instantaneously transformed.


The first time God appeared in human form was to an unmarried, pregnant, minority mother.


There is an incredible soft spot in the heart of God for vulnerable women. I’d like to think that He has a special love for mothers. Especially ones who became a mother unconventionally.

I am closely connected with our community’s pregnancy resource center. I have seen fearful eyes, shaking hands, and growing wombs of women who found themselves pregnant when they did not intend to be. Some of them by poor timing, poor choices, or heinous actions that had been taken against them. I’ve watched as friends of mine have walked through a soul-crushing loss of a marriage. They look at their children and wonder if God has left them in the desert all alone. I’ve seen Hagar in their eyes. I felt Hagar’s fear as I held, in my shaking hands, a positive pregnancy test when I was just 5 months postpartum with my son. I know the knee-jerk instinct to run away from what is scary. But I have also encountered the God who searches, eyes roaming for the aching heart who isn’t looking for Him. And when He finds them, they are transformed.



Hagar’s joy bubbled out of her and she personally named God.

“I have seen the God who sees me” (vs 13) she marveled.

And she named God El Roi (The God who sees), a name not seen anywhere else in Scripture.


Carolyn Custis James said it well:

Before Hagar’s encounter with the Angel of the Lord, God is spoken of in large, majestic, sweeping terms as Elohim, Creator, Judge of the earth, Yahweh the covenant maker, promise keeper, Shaddai (Almighty), but not in the intimately personal terms that Hagar used. Hagar advanced theology by revealing the intimate side of God. He is the God who never takes his eye off his child…

Hagar was seen, restored, and given a clear mission but with a completely new identity. All because her life had been dramatically interrupted and rearranged by a God who saw her and her unborn child. God named her son, “Ishmael” meaning “God hears”. Every time she would call her son as he grew up, she would be reminded of her transformation. Hagar did turn around and go back to her masters, but this time she was received. Abram’s household then entered an extended season of peace in the wake of her obedience.


God has a special blessing for the vulnerable mother. Do you feel like you are wandering, used up, or doing motherhood alone? He is protector, father, friend, King, husband, and healer all in one. He does not just fill in the holes, he completely transforms. So chin up, my friend, place your hope in the God who sees you because that changes everything.


 
Katy is a life & leadership coach, Bible teacher, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys. Her passions include seeing people grow and flourish, and creating tools for Biblical literacy & spiritual growth. You can read more of her writing at her blog Simply Abiding (http://katydormmama.blogspot.com) or follow her on social media @katyleannewatson & @katywatsoncoaching.















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